Fucking dipshits in the family I am unable to get my car this coming October. Excuse the language, but this is how I feel as of late.
I am utterly irritated, betrayed, and ultimately disappointed. I swear to god, I swear to god I swear to god. It was going undeniably great until I decided to “reconnect” with family. Worst fucking decision I’ve made thus far. Now it is four in the fucking morning and I can’t attain an ounce of sleep, because of how ridiculous this sounds!
fuck fuck fuck!
I don’t understand.
I work day in, day out, push myself beyond my limits. Exceed in every aspect I can.
It’s not that: it isn’t enough, that bugs me (nothing is ever enough) but the fact that my family doesn’t acknowledge it, doesn’t acknowledge the hours I put in, doesn’t acknowledge the blood, sweat, tears.
Guess the time AWAY was the better years of my life: can’t say I didn’t try though. Reconnecting might be a tad bit harder than I thought.
A feeling of disconnection only means you were once affixed with someone and in some cases something.
The type of bond an individual carries with them are familiar, but you know what they say about time: time changes people, values, morales, perception, and everything in between. Rendering the bond to a whole different state.
Think about it like this: your best friend, you guys meet up and it’s like nothing has every changed between you two. Hate to say it but it’s only because you guys are holding onto PAST bonds. It’s when you two go onto NEW adventures, NEW experiences, and NEW hardships that will determine your NEW relationship.
I’m feeling so disconnected with my family right now. But hey: I’ve tried to rebuild my image to THEIR liking, only to find out; their semblance of me is still remains as “little BoBa”
What I would give.
For alot of money right now.
I’m about my money nowadays: becoming something I’d wish to veer away from.
However at the same time: my visit to California only showed me how $ ran a persons thoughts, actions, and determining choices.
As well as how expensive California really is Haha. Good weed though (or so I’ve heard.)
#cliffjumper: another item crossed off my #bucketlist, @wantedmemories can your phone do this! #yolo #powerhouse #BhCartel #VietTeaBoBa #boba #Le #samsung #s5 ✌
I’m not going to post some inspirational quote to make you believe I’m insightful. Instead I’m just going to speak my mind.
I can’t fucking sleep.
I’ve been living self absorbed,
only b/c my cash can open doors
my heart? off my sleeve; in a drawer.
Maybe I’m just a tad bad with this whole relationship game. In retrospect I AM married to my job. I should definitely shift my scrutiny towards people and not cold hard cash
But oh boy: do I fucking adore/abhor money.